Dig A Little Deeper
by clayray3290
Summary: Amber has kept apart from the rest of the kids ever since the beginning. She refuses to get close to anyone, and this causes everyone to wonder: What is she hiding?
1. First Impressions

**DISCLAIMER: **(And I'm only saying this once per fic) I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any related characters, places, etc. I only own those that I've made up myself.

* * *

Amber got out of the car and looked at the building in front of her. The sign read, 'Degrassi Community School.' She sighed and looked back at the car with her mom and her younger brother Corey. Her mom smiled and waved cheerfully. Amber managed to give a small smile, took a deep breath, and walked in.

* * *

The 10th Grade Classroom was bustling with activity. Close-knit groups were in every corner, and the room was full of the sound of teenagers chatting about several important topics like who was going out with who.

Outside the classroom, Mr. Raditch was finishing up his tour of the school with, "Well, if you need any help, feel free to come to me. I hope you enjoy yourself here at Degrassi. Now, let's go into the classroom."

They walked in, Amber behind, and the whole classroom hushed. The sudden silence was deafening in a way, and it was a little intimidating to see all those heads turning towards Amber all at once. Amber tried to hide her small frame behind Mr. Raditch even more, but he stepped aside, revealing her to everyone.

Ms. Kwan, the teacher, cleared her throat and announced, "Well, we have a new student. Class, I hope you give a warm welcome to...umm..."

She looked toward Mr. Raditch for the unknown name. "Amber Sullivan," Amber said softly, giving the impression that she was scared to say her own name. Amber instantly regretted speaking, because it drew attention to herself. She felt that she needed to get out of this room, this room where everyone was staring at her, trying to figure her out.

"Oh. Yes, well, I hope that you will have lots of fun here and make a lot of friends. Is there anything you want to tell the class? Maybe something special about your family? Any special talents or interests?"

Amber's eyes widened, and she empathetically shook her head no in silence.

"Okay then! Umm...you can sit in between Paige and Terri," Ms. Kwan said while pointing out Amber's seat.

Amber hurriedly went to her seat, and lowered herself onto the seat. She breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't up front anymore. She was so caught up in the gladness of not being in the spotlight, she didn't notice Paige eyeing her up and down. Paige put her critical eye to use when she summed Amber up in her mind. Once Paige satisfied her curiosity, she stared blankly at the front and occupied her mind with other things.

On the other hand, Terri smiled warmly and extended her hand. She introduced herself and stated how she hoped they'd become better friends. Amber smiled a little too, though she thought that there was little chance of becoming really close friends. Amber knew that even if there could have been a good friendship between them, that it would have to be eventually broken off when Terri learned about Amber's life.

* * *

The day progressed, and Amber soon met all of the other 10th Graders. She made her own judgments of them in her head, and outwardly, she smiled and said hi even though she knew she would never be close to any of them.

Craig, however, seemed to Amber to be the one with the most potential to get close with. Amber did not usually think of guys as the most likely to be best friends with her, but this time, it seemed obvious to her. There was just something different about him. There was a difference in the quiet way he introduced himself and expressed the hope that she would enjoy it at Degrassi. However, there was no way for Amber to explain the connection without sounding weird and forward. So, she granted Craig a bigger and more genuine beam instead of the smaller smile that everyone else received.

Throughout the day, everyone was talking about Amber, even though she was oblivious to it all. They all were aware that there was something that made her different than everyone else. They were interested in her even though she wasn't physically remarkable. She had plain brown hair, plain brown eyes, no makeup, and her clothes weren't flashy or attention-getting. In fact, her clothes were mostly dull shades. There was nothing bright or intriguing about her looks, but she still captured the attention of everyone else. They all whispered how she wasn't outgoing or friendly, but she certainly didn't push others away. And yet, she still did not give the impression that she wanted friends. Amber was definitely a puzzle, and the students at Degrassi all wished they could see the whole picture.

* * *

When Amber got home, she sank into an armchair and thought. She hoped that that day would be the most stressful of the year. But she knew that everything would come crashing down if certain things were discovered.


	2. Turn Around

Everything was going fine. People were generally staying away, and Amber was keeping to herself. Everything was going just fine...until Spinner realized that she existed.  
  
He knew who she was, of course. How could he not? After all the curiosity she aroused, it was impossible not to know about her. But her mysteriousness had worn off, and the main topic of gossip was no longer Amber. So, Spinner had promptly forgotten about her.  
  
It took a long time for Spinner to come up with the thought that Amber could be useful...and not as a subject of conversation, either. She could be someone to pick on. He was sick of bullying the same kids every day. It wouldn't be hard, and it would add a little variety. She was so quiet, she'd be no trouble; and he was positive she wouldn't fight back.  
  
He knew she was too small to hurt him even if she did fight back. Anyway, she wasn't a fighting person by the looks of it. She just went on her way, leading her own life. This would be a piece of cake.  
  
He found Amber at her locker, concentrating on the combination. She groaned as he approached and furiously twirled it again.  
  
He asked, "Need help?"  
  
She jumped and spun around to face him. She was obviously surprised. Several thoughts went through her mind. Why would this guy that she barely knows ask to help? He could just be being nice, but Amber had had the impression that he wasn't that kind of guy.  
  
"H-h-help?"  
  
"Yeah...You know, give me your com, and I'll open your locker for you. We only have one minute until class starts, if you didn't notice," Spinner's voice was dry and sarcastic.  
  
Amber considered the offer. She didn't want to give her combination to anyone, but there was only a minute...  
  
She gave him her combination.  
  
He opened her locker. When Amber let out a sigh of relief and started to reach out for her books, Spinner slammed the locker door shut.  
  
Amber was shocked, and her eyes widened as she watched Spinner walk away, satisfied, to class.  
  
Amber chided herself for being an idiot. After all, she was no stranger to teasing and pranks. She sighed, turned to her locker again, and silently continued to turn the combination. She ended up being late to class.

* * *

Luckily, the teasing did not continue in the classroom. Instead, Amber found herself in another situation she didn't like to be in.  
  
"Class, get into groups of three, or get a partner. Make sure to choose wisely. This project is very important, and it can affect your grade a lot."  
  
Amber sat at her desk in the back of the room, motionless, while the other students moved toward their friends and started chatting about their projects. Amber looked at her hands, waiting to find out who she'd be stuck with. She knew that the teacher would take everybody without partners and pair them up. She couldn't wait to see who the loners at Degrassi were. She had always hated group projects like this. Even at her old school, she was always left out. She was used to this kind of treatment.  
  
"Are you working with anyone?"  
  
Amber, startled, looked up.  
  
Craig repeated himself. "Are you working with anyone?"  
  
"Oh! N-no! I mean, not yet..." Amber stuttered.  
  
"Well, do you want to work with me? Everyone else has someone to work with. My best friend is in 9th Grade anyway."  
  
"Oh. OK..."  
  
Amber realized with a sinking feeling that the only reason why he was asking her was because there was no one else. She slapped herself in her mind for even thinking that he would want to be with her. She sighed and thought glumly, _At least I have a partner..._  
  
She was jolted back out of her thoughts and into reality when Craig spoke.  
  
"So...how do you like it here at Degrassi?"  
  
Amber wracked her brain to think of something nice to say about Degrassi. All she could think about was how Spinner had slammed her locker shut with a grin on his " Amber avoided Craig's gaze.  
  
"Have you made a lot of friends?"  
  
Amber stared at Craig in disbelief. Was he making fun of her? She searched his face. She then raised her eyebrows, as if saying, _Are you kidding me?_  
  
Craig had apparently meant what he said, because he stated, "If you haven't made a lot of friends, don't worry. Maybe the people in 10th Grade aren't your type. There are a lot of nice girls in 9th Grade, too. I could probably introduce you to them."  
  
Amber was so taken aback that she started to laugh.  
  
"What's so funny?" Craig asked, a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
"I...don't...know! But...it's...funny...anyway!" Amber answered in between peals of laughter.  
  
"OK!" Craig replied before starting to laugh himself.  
  
Their laughter was interrupted when the teacher suddenly called to the back of the room, "What's going on back there? Are you working?"  
  
They quickly quieted and started working on their project.  
  
By that time, Amber had forgotten about Spinner and was thinking happily, _I knew I was right that he could be a good friend!_  
  
At the end of class, the good feeling had worn off, and instead, Amber was thinking depressedly, _He could be a good friend...Too bad that he won't want to be near me when he finds out..._


	3. What's Wrong

The next morning, Amber was hurriedly twirling her combination. She definitely didn't want to get caught by Spinner again. So when she noticed a shadow on her locker that wasn't hers, her heart dropped.  
  
"So...are you ready to meet some 9th Graders?" the friendly voice asked.  
  
When Amber turned around, she was startled. Craig seemed awfully big all of a sudden, and she shrank back.  
  
"Oh...umm..." Amber said nervously, trying to stall for time. She really didn't like meeting new people.  
  
Craig took that as a yes, and grabbed her wrist.

* * *

"Amber, this is Manny and Emma. Guys, this is Amber. She's new here," Craig gestured at the two girls standing in front of Amber.  
  
Once the introductions were over, Emma turned to Craig.  
  
"Angela said the sweetest thing the other day! Oh, Angela is Craig's little sister, by the way," Emma told Amber. She turned back to Craig and continued, "She said that her hero was you, Craig, because you were the best big brother!"  
  
Amber's face tightened, and her pasted-on smile quickly faded.  
  
Seeing Amber's distressed look, Craig hastened to say, "Emma babysits Angela sometimes."  
  
Amber nodded, and Craig, still worried about her, told Manny and Emma, "We have to go to class now. See you guys later!"  
  
Amber shook herself a little, and smiled again. She waved cheerfully to Manny and Emma as Craig led her to class.

* * *

Everyone was talking animatedly when Amber shyly took a seat at the table of 10th graders. They didn't notice her, and continued to chat about the topic at hand: her.  
  
"Honestly, I don't know what's with her."  
  
"Yeah. Amber's just, so...so...weird!"  
  
"She isn't all that friendly either."  
  
"I'll say! I think the only person she's been a little friendly with is Craig!"  
  
"Uh huh. But it's not like she's not civil to everyone else, you know."  
  
Amber sat quietly through the whole conversation. She munched on her sandwich while listening to them speak. She even nodded her head in agreement at some of the points made.  
  
"Really. I wonder what's wrong with her?"  
  
Amber slammed her hand down on the table so hard that it shook. Her brown eyes were ablaze with anger; they almost looked red. Her shoulders were tense, and her jaw was clenched.  
  
"Nothing. Is. Wrong. With. Me."  
  
The words came out, one by one, clipped and accentuated. They hung in the air, still vibrating with the way she furiously said them.  
  
The other kids at the table were shocked into silence. The other tables around them were still alive with laughter and gossip, but this table was a mute island among the others.  
  
Craig walked over to the table and slid into the seat next to Amber, unaware of the tension.  
  
He casually asked, "So. What's up? Is something wrong?"  
  
Amber looked straight at him and calmly replied, "Nothing is wrong."  
  
She stressed the 'nothing.'  
  
Craig immdeiately realized that he had intruded on a scene where not everything was going right.  
  
Paige broke the silence by apprehensively saying, "Hey, guys? What do you think of this shirt?"  
  
The 10th graders easily fell back into conversation about normal things.  
  
Amber sat back and quietly observed again.

* * *

At the end of the day, Amber was relieved that school was over.  
  
Craig tapped her on the shoulder. He stood with his arms crossed, determined to figure out what happened at lunch.  
  
Amber noticed the resolute look in his eyes and wondered what he wanted to know. They walked over to a nearby bench and sat down.  
  
He asked bluntly, "What happened at lunch?"  
  
Amber winced at the reminder of that incident, but looked steadily into Craig's eyes.  
  
"I just had an argument with some of the other kids."  
  
Craig glanced at her oddly.  
  
"An argument? That wasn't just an argument. People don't get quiet like that because of an argument!"  
  
Amber softly questioned, "Why do you care?"  
  
Craig was spared from answering that awkward question when Spinner loomed behind him.  
  
"What do you want?" Amber asked irritably. Apparently, the scenario at lunch was still fresh in her mind.  
  
"Look, girl. I don't know who you think you are, but just because you're new, don't think you can get away with doing what you did at lunch. Believe me, if you try something like that again, you won't live to regret it."  
  
He pounded his fists together menacingly. He was clearly relishing the idea of pummelling tiny Amber into pieces.  
  
Craig got up and rose to his full height.  
  
"And what makes you think you have the right to harass Amber like that?"  
  
At this, Spinner started to head toward Craig. Amber gasped and reached out to hold Craig back.  
  
"No," she pleaded, "Don't do this for me. You don't need to. I'll be fine. Really. I can defend myself."  
  
He reluctantly sat back down.  
  
Amber stepped toward Spinner and spoke in a strong voice. "Look, Spinner. You can tease me, make fun of me, whatever. But when my friends are involved, don't even try me."  
  
"Friends?" Spinner echoed. He laughed rudely. "What friends? You don't _have_ any friends, Amber."  
  
Amber glared at him. She then grabbed Craig's wrist and dragged him away.

* * *

Amber slammed the front door of her house and stomped into her bedroom.  
  
She muttered under her breath, "What's wrong with me? _What's wrong with me?_ Humph. Wait until they see what it's _really_ like." 


	4. Make New Friends, But Keep the Old

Amber was avoiding Craig.  
  
She was embarrassed about the way things had gone when he had been trying to be nice to her. He was just trying to help her, and she had blown up in his face. It didn't help matters that Spinner had come along. Craig had even tried to defend her, too. Amber was glad that at least it had ended quickly. She was glad that he cared enough to stick up for her. He had risked being beat up by Spinner.  
  
Meanwhile, Craig was confused. He didn't know if she was keeping secrets from him because she was trying to play hard to get, or if it was because she was a secretive person. He was trying to figure out if Amber told him to back down from Spinner because she cared and didn't want to see him get hurt, or if she thought he was being stupid. He had to admit to himself that he must have looked pretty stupid getting all angry. He wondered if he was giving himself away.  
  
Add that to the fact that Amber hadn't been talking to Craig. Every time he tried to tell her something, she had brushed him off with a, "Sorry. I need to go," or something else to that effect. He sadly decided that he had utterly failed in attracting Amber, and that she had no interest in him whatsoever.  
  
However, he wasn't about to give up quite yet. He was desperate, though, and the only plan he could come up with was to make her jealous. So, he set out to get himself a girlfriend.

* * *

Craig set his charm level on high. He took extra time on his looks, and he smiled at every single girl that passed. Except for Amber. He had decided that he would do the same to Amber as she did to him. He would ignore her.  
  
Now, instead of Amber brushing Craig off, every time Amber tapped Craig shyly on the shoulder, Craig told her that he was busy. He turned away from her, and so he didn't see the hurt look on her face.  
  
After Craig had told her for the ninth time to basically get lost, she gave up. She couldn't help noticing that Craig was being nice to everyone else but her. She thought that she had ruined the only true friendship she ever had. Amber glumly walked past Craig, and restrained herself from giving him a pleading look. As she walked by, Craig glanced at her, but her eyes were firmly set on the floor underneath.  
  
"Oh. There goes that one girl again," said one of the girls surrounding him.  
  
"I'm much more beautiful than her, don't ya think, Craig?" simpered another.  
  
Craig nodded vacantly, but thought, _She might not be beautiful in that way, but at least her beauty doesn't come from a bottle.  
_  
"Hey, Craig? I thought Amber was your friend. What's going on between you two?" Manny asked.  
  
_Nothing. Which is exactly the problem_, thought Craig. But out loud he said, "I just haven't talked to her that much lately."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The girls continued to flirt with him, and continued to try to get his attention. But his attention was elsewhere.

* * *

Amber was sitting in the empty classroom, waiting until class started. She could hear the noise of the other kids socializing in the hallway, and sadly wished that she was among them. She knew that they never would accept her. There was that little incident that had happened at lunch time before. And when they found out more about her...  
  
She shuddered. She knew that things could only get worse if she told them the truth. So she chose to separate herself from the other students, and only suffered from the longings to be normal that pained her heart. It wasn't that bad; she at least had some friends. Or at least, she used to.  
  
Spinner walked into the classroom. He faked surprise that she was sitting in the classroom alone.  
  
"What are you doing in here? Class doesn't start for a while now," he said. His voice rang through the room. It echoed, the undertone saying that she was a loner repeating over and over again.  
  
"I didn't want to get caught by certain people and end up late to class," she responded bitingly. Her cutting tone accused him of being one of those people, which he was.  
  
Spinner was taken aback. He hadn't thought she had the nerve to say something like that. He chuckled in his head, but made his voice serious.  
  
"Really. It was just a one time thing. You should be out there hanging out." The unspoken words '_like everyone else_' came across clear to Amber.  
  
"Well, what are _you_ doing in here, then?"  
  
"Oh, just thought I'd get a head start on studying for the science test later today."  
  
Amber highly doubted that this was the case, but she let it go.  
  
"So, where's Craig, your bodyguard?"  
  
This was not going at all where Amber wanted it to go. She didn't want to think about Craig, and here goes Spinner asking her about him.  
  
"I don't know. I guess he's out there hanging out like I should be."  
  
"Well, you're in a bad mood, aren't you? I'm just trying to be nice."  
  
Amber snorted outright.  
  
"Nice? _Nice?_ Yeah right. As nice as you were when you shut my locker the other day. As nice as you were threatening me. You call that nice? Well, I call it being a bully who only picks on other people because that's the only thing he has brains for," her voice was loud, and Spinner looked out the door, making sure no one else was hearing this. Nobody was paying any attention, but Amber's voice went up in volume, as she practically screamed, "And you know what? I bet everyone in this whole school would be a whole lot better without you! Because you're just a plain waste of everyone's time! You're useful for _nothing_!"  
  
The room was quiet, except for Amber's heavy breathing. Neither of them noticed other students started peeking into the room as they stared at each other with malevolence. The other kids saw that this was a bad time, so they walked back out again.  
  
Spinner asked quietly, "Are you having this temper tantrum because of Craig? Is Craig the reason why you're having this fit?"  
  
Amber screeched, "NO! Craig doesn't have anything to do with this. I don't care about him anymore. This is just between you and me."  
  
Spinner riled her further by commenting, "Oh no. I think you still care about Craig. More than you think."  
  
Amber, furious, stomped out of the room.

* * *

"No, Manny, I'm not going out with anyone but you," Craig said, exasperated.  
  
"Are you sure? You're not going out with Amber?"  
  
"Where did you get that idea?" Craig turned back to his locker, where he rolled his eyes. He was getting sick of hearing her ask him if he was being faithful. This was one of the downsides of having her as his girlfriend. But, he had to admit to himself, she was better than the other girls that had wanted to go out with him.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. You were just really really friendly. I thought you guys were really close, you know? But if you're sure..."  
  
Craig cut her off. "I'm sure, Manny. I need to go to class now."

* * *

Amber was back in the classroom, sitting in her seat with her head on her desk. She was tired after yelling at Spinner. But when she heard Craig's voice, she sat up.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I'm going out with Manny again. But she's really annoy..." he glanced at Amber. "I mean, she's the best girlfriend I ever could have."  
  
"I thought you said she was annoying," Jimmy said, confused.  
  
"When did I say that?"  
  
Amber laid her head on the desk again, and buried her head in her arms. _Craig had a girlfriend? He's going out with Manny? How come I didn't know? Nobody tells me these things_, thought Amber. She resolved to go talk to him after class.

* * *

"Craig?"  
  
"Not now, Amber. I'm busy."  
  
"No, you're not," Amber said. She firmly grasped Craig's shoulder, and spun him around. She continued, "Look, Craig. I know you're ignoring me, and I don't know why. But that's not the point."  
  
"Well, then, what is?"  
  
Amber sighed, and then demanded, "Why didn't you tell me you were going out with Manny?"  
  
"Because I wasn't...at least not until this morning," Craig said.  
  
"Then how come you didn't tell me at all? How come I had to hear it from someone else?"  
  
"Because I didn't get around to it, okay?"  
  
"Are you mad at me?" Amber meekly asked.  
  
"No." Even Craig could tell his clipped response made it seem like he was.  
  
"Really, why are you mad at me?"  
  
"I'm not. It's just that you were ignoring me earlier, so I decided to ignore you for a while."  
  
Amber shamefacedly said, "Okay."  
  
"Look, I have to go now. I need to meet my girlfriend," Craig said, stressing the word 'girlfriend.'  
  
"Oh, okay..."  
  
Amber watched as Craig walked away, and then sternly shook herself. _Who are you trying to kid? It was all your fault that Craig was ignoring you_, she thought. Then she suddenly wondered, _Has he found out?_


	5. A Walk in the Park

Amber was crying in her bedroom, alone in the whole house, when the phone rang. She screamed and held the pillow over her head. But she still could hear the insistent ringing, and it was driving her nuts. She didn't want to talk to anyone, and she was afraid that it was Craig calling.  
  
Finally, the ringing sound stopped, and she lifted her head up. She could hear the answering machine go off.  
  
"Hi! You've reached the Sullivan residence. Sorry, but none of us are around right now. So call us back later or leave a message. Thanks!"  
  
Amber felt like retching at the sound of her fake, cheerful answering machine voice.  
  
There was a beep, and then a deep man's voice was heard.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Sullivan. This is Dr. Williams. I was just wondering how Corey and Amber were doing. If anything is wrong, please feel free to call me. Ahem. Actually, the real reason I was calling was because I have rescheduled the appointment that we had scheduled for next Wednesday. I need to drive my daughter to her cheerleading competition that day, because my wife has broken her leg. Therefore, I have rescheduled your appointment to Thursday because I know you said you were free. But if there are any conflicts, please call me. Oh, and bring both Amber and Corey to the appointment. Thank you! Bye."  
  
Amber sat up. _Who does Dr. Williams think he is? Talking about his daughter's stupid cheerleading thing. And he wants both of us to go to the appointment! He probably wants to give us some more stupid tests_, she thought.  
  
She stalked over to the answering machine, and, out of spite, pushed the delete button.  
  
Then, she laid down on her bed again. She couldn't help the tears wetting her pillow. She bit her lip, bewildered. Why was she crying?  
  
The front door opened and slammed shut. Amber quieted herself and listened closely.  
  
"Amber?" Amber's mom called up the stairs.  
  
Amber wiped away her tears and hurried down. On her way, she glanced into a mirror, and was relieved to see that she looked normal, aside from her slightly crimson nose and her splotchy cheeks.  
  
Once Amber appeared downstairs, her mother directed, "Amber, dear, do go and help Corey bring in the groceries."  
  
Amber nodded and went outside. In silence, the two siblings brought in the plastic bags.

* * *

Craig was walking through the park with his camera in his hands. There was no particular reason why he had brought the camera with him. He wasn't planning on taking any pictures, but it comforted him. He strolled on the paths, lost in thought. He had gotten himself into this, and he needed to figure out a way to get out of it. He did not like Manny, that he was sure of. And he was certain that he liked Amber. Then how did he end up going out with Manny?  
  
He had to admit that it was all his fault. He wanted to make Amber jealous. He had been stupid. Amber wasn't the kind of person to get jealous. He didn't think she cared all that much that he had a girlfriend. It was more the fact that he hadn't told her about it that bugged her. He remembered their last conversation.  
  
_"Why didn't you tell me you were going out with Manny?"_

_"Because I wasn't...at least not until this morning,"_

_"Then how come you didn't tell me at all? How come I had to hear it from someone else?"_

_"Because I didn't get around to it, okay?"_  
  
He kicked at some stray rocks on the path. Why couldn't he forget about Amber?  
  
He heard a rustling behind him. He cursed, and thought, _Can't I ever just be alone?_  
  
He walked off the path and sat down on a bench behind some trees.  
  
He heard the sound of a girl's voice, and then suddenly recognized it as Amber's. What was Amber doing in the park?  
  
He peeked around the trees, and watched.  
  
Amber was walking slowly down the path, her arms linked with a boy's. The boy looked to be younger than her, but he was a lot shorter. He was rather ugly, too. It looked as if the part of his nose in between the eyes had been pushed in, and his stomach stuck out a little bit. Craig felt a twinge of jealousy. She would walk around with a guy like that, but she wouldn't go out with him! He ignored the fact that he hadn't even asked her out.  
  
They walked right past Craig, and Amber was so close that he could have reached out and touched her. He felt the air move after they had gone past. Before they could get out of his sight, he silently took a picture.

* * *

By the time Craig got home, it was starting to get dark. He shuffled in the door, and was immediately met by Angela, his sister.  
  
"Where've you been, Craig? I did so much cool stuff today! I made a mask, come look!"  
  
Craig was too tired to resist, and he let himself be dragged away by Angela.  
  
After Craig had looked at the mask enough to please Angela, he threw himself onto a chair, and turned on the TV. He watched pointlessly at the screen for a few minutes when Joey came into the room.  
  
"What took you so long? You were out there walking for a long time."  
  
"Yeah," Craig said listlessly.  
  
"What's wrong?" Joey sat down next to Craig.  
  
"I'm just having some girl problems, that's all."  
  
"Oh? Who's the lucky girl?"  
  
Craig then spilled everything. He told Joey about Amber, about Manny, and how everything was going totally wrong.  
  
"Does she know how you feel?" Joey asked.  
  
"No! I don't even know if she likes me back. And I saw her with this one guy in the park anyway."  
  
"You're going to have to take risks sometime."  
  
"I know," Craig sighed and then turned back to the TV.

* * *

Amber came in from her walk, and hurried up to her room. She needed to think.  
  
When she was strolling in the park, she had turned around once, and she thought that she had seen Craig hiding in the trees. But she couldn't be sure. After all, it was from a distance and plenty of guys had dark, curly hair like Craig. But she had just had the feeling that it was him. She thought he saw her, but instead of coming out and saying hello, he just hid back in the trees. If it was a complete stranger, he wouldn't have hidden again, would he? She was very confused, as she tried to decide if it was Craig or not.  
  
But, then again, if it was Craig, it sort of made sense that he would hide. They had just had an argument, and things between them were a little shaky. _Still_, Amber thought, _if it was Craig, I wish he had come out anyway._  
  
She wished that Craig was with her, and they could clear up everything. Little did she know, Craig was wishing the exact same thing.


	6. Changes in a Young Man's Life

The next day, Amber and Craig were still ignoring eachother. When both of them were around, conversation was difficult. Each acted as though the other didn't exist.  
  
It was more difficult for Amber. She had no friends to chatter with when Craig was around. Craig, on the other hand, could start up a conversation with one of his friends whenever he saw her.  
  
Right before first hour, Amber sat in the classroom and pretended to be reading a book. She didn't notice that the book was upside down, and was titled, 'Changes in a Young Man's Life.' She moved her eyes, unseeing, when Terri walked in.  
  
Terri stood in front of Amber, and stared quizzically at Amber's book.  
  
She stifled a laugh, and said, "Uh...Amber?"  
  
"Hmm? What?" Amber blinked, seemingly getting out of a trance.  
  
"Amber? Do you realize that you were reading a book upside down? And that it's called 'Changes in a Young Man's Life'?"  
  
"Oh!" Amber looked at the cover of the book, blushed, and put it back.  
  
Terri giggled and Amber grinned sheepishly.  
  
"Well, that's one way of getting information," Amber remarked.  
  
"Though I'm not sure you want _that_ kind of information," Terri replied.  
  
"Probably. And it doesn't help that it's upside down, does it?" Amber joked. They laughed.  
  
When the laughter subsided, there was a cheerful atmosphere around them. Amber felt happy; she didn't feel shy with Terri. It was easy to talk to her, and the conversation was friendly and comfortable. They were both enjoying themselves.  
  
When Craig walked in the room, Amber started speaking louder and more animated than before. Amber was grinning from ear to ear; she resembled the Cheshire Cat.  
  
Craig noticed and glanced at Amber. Amber stubbornly kept her back to him, and spoke even louder. Craig sighed audibly, and started talking to Jimmy about pointless things.

* * *

Craig was walking down the hall with Manny, trying to ignore her incessant chatter. She was blathering on about cheerleading or something of the sort, and he didn't care one bit.  
  
He finally cut her off by telling her, "Manny, please _shut up_."  
  
Manny pouted, and complained, "Craig! What is up with that? You don't care anymore! You used to listen to me. _Really listen_, not just staring off into space and pretending to. You're being mean!"  
  
Craig responded, "I never did care, Manny. So just go away, and talk to someone else that is actually interested."  
  
Manny's frown deepened, and she announced dramatically, "You know what, Craig? It's over. We're through. Good bye!" She stormed past him, and stomped into her classroom.  
  
_Well_, Craig thought, _That got rid of her..._

* * *

Amber was ranting about how medical tests are stupid, when Terri stopped listening and looked away. Terri was gazing at Manny, who was fuming. Manny was at the other end of the cafeteria, but Terri and Amber could hear her quite clearly. Everybody had stopped eating their lunches, and openly stared at her.  
  
Manny loved the attention, and continued to get even louder.  
  
"Boys are idiots! Scum! Especially ones named Craig," Manny declared. She screeched, "Boys don't have any brains or hearts! I'm warning all you girls, stay away from them!"  
  
"Wow," whispered Terri, "I wonder what Craig did to make Manny so mad. She's practically having a fit!"  
  
"Yeah. She's definitely raging mad," Amber whispered back. She thought_, If I was speaking to Craig, I would ask him._  
  
As if reading Amber's mind, Terri commented thoughtfully, "You know, if you were actually talking to Craig, you could ask him."  
  
"Yeah," Amber trailed off.

* * *

During Manny's performance, Craig covered his ears and hid his face. Now, any shred of pride was gone. He was extremely embarrassed.  
  
He dared to lift his head up, which ended up being a bad move. With a groan, he dropped his head on the table. Manny was _still_ going at it.  
  
Craig wondered how much of this he would have to endure. His friends were poking and prodding him, making fun of him. They were winking and nudging and elbowing, and they thought of it as all a big joke.  
  
They didn't understand that he was trying to Amber, and that she didn't seem to have a spark of interest in him. This was rather depressing, considering that he had managed to gain the attention of most of the other girls in the school.  
  
After waiting for a couple of minutes, he chanced a look up again. She was still yelling, so he decided that he should probably leave. He got up, and walked out the door, hearing Manny's voice behind him all along the way.


	7. A Picture Worth A Thousand Words

Amber was sleeping over at Terri's house, and they were poring over Terri's yearbooks. They giggled as they looked at the pictures of their fellow classmates when they were young. They were looking at Terri's first grade yearbook when Amber clapped her hand to her mouth.

Thinking that Amber was horrified for some reason, Terri worriedly asked, "What's wrong?"

Amber took her hand away, and then started laughing uncontrollably.

Terri, astonished and indignant, said, "What? What's so funny?"

"Well, I was going to laugh at Spinner's picture, but the expression on your face...It was classic!"

A little insulted, Terri asked, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know...You just looked so...so concerned! Nobody's ever looked like that because of me before..."

They were silent.

Terri ventured, "It must have been pretty horrible at your old school."

"You could put it that way. Everyone hated me." Amber became angry. "But it wasn't my fault!"

Gently, Terri asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Amber decisively said. However, she changed her mind, and said, "Yeah. I do." Amber then proceeded to pour out her story to Terri.

* * *

After Craig had developed his film, he sat on the floor, and looked through all the photographs he had taken. He threw away some of the pictures because he thought they weren't any good. He put the 'good' pictures into a pile next to him. He threw a picture away into the trash can, but then suddenly retrieved it. It was a picture of Amber and that other guy in the park. He looked at it closely. Once again, he was struck with the thought that the boy wasn't all that good looking.

_Amber is willing to walk around a park with that kind of a guy_, Craig thought, _but she's not willing to go around with me!_

Craig was jealous of the boy in the picture, and he didn't even know the guy! For Craig, the maddening part was that he could not think of anything that the boy had that he himself didn't have. Craig, frustrated, pulled at his dark, curly hair and stomped around his room.

"What's going on up there?" Joey called up the stairs.

"Nothing! Sorry!" Craig called back, but stomped once more before collapsing on his bed.

* * *

"Wow," Terri said. "Wow."

Amber wiped the tears away from her eyes, and said, "I don't expect you to understand. It probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal. _But it is!_ It is."

"Wow," was all Terri could say.

Amber accepted the tissue that Terri handed her. She sniffed once more, and cleared her throat.

Amber said, "I'm sorry for bugging you. You probably don't care." She laughed. "It's funny. All normal girls have to worry about are guys and other small things like that. And I..."

Terri, sympathetically said, "It must be tough for you. You must worry about stuff like that, too. _And_ you have to worry about...you know..."

"I've never had much luck with guys anyway. So it's not that big of a deal."

"What about Craig?"

Amber stiffened. Pretending to be indifferent, she said, "What about him?"

"I just thought you guys would make a great couple. You two looked really good together."

It looked as if Terri was going to elaborate further, but Amber cut her off. "It would've never worked. He doesn't even like me, anyway."

Skeptically, Terri just replied, "Sure..."

"But it doesn't matter now, Terri. I've got you to keep me company."

"It's not like you didn't have friends before."

"Not exactly. All my so-called friends stopped being nice to me once they found out. So I've never really had a _true_ friend."

Terri patted Amber's hand. "You do now."

* * *

The next Monday, Amber practically skipped when she went through the front doors of Degrassi Community School. She had gotten a load of that weekend, and she truly felt that Terri was a friend. Unfortunately for Amber, being relieved of this burden had its drawbacks.

In the halls, Paige saw Amber's cheerfulness and decided to go for it. Paige started out with, "Amber, we need one more person for the Dance Committee."

Amber panicked. This was a bad thing. Dance Committees and Amber Sullivan did NOT mix.

"But the dance is months away!"

Paige calmly replied, "Believe me, you need all the time you can get. So, will you do it?"

Amber had no choice. She smiled weakly and said, "Sure."

* * *

In English class, Ms. Kwan announced, "Okay, class. We've been a bit delayed, but now we can really get started on our projects. But first, let me remind you of who is in your group." Ms. Kwan took the list out of her desk drawer. "Ellie and Ashley, Amber and Craig..."

Amber's heart almost stopped. She was working on a major project with _Craig_?

Craig brightened. Maybe he could finally get Amber to like him.

Ms. Kwan explained, "In this project, you will be given a classic story. You'll work on several essays and hands-on activities. Now, get into your groups. I will come around and assign you your story."

Craig eagerly sat down next to Amber. "So, what story do you hope we get?"

His question went unanswered because Amber was talking to Terri.

Ms. Kwan then came around and gave them their story.

During the rest of the hour, there was a tense silence between them. It was occasionally broken when Craig nervously tried to start a conversation, but Amber only ignored him.


	8. Hidden Truths

It was gym class, and they were picking teams for basketball. Out of the whole class, there was only one person left: Amber. She fumed at the thought that even the class nerd had been picked, and she hadn't.

Finally, Jimmy, as team captain, chose Amber. She sulked as she went over to join the others, but when she saw that Craig was on the opposite team, she brightened a little.

The game started. Amber ran, following the ball, but the game seemed to only be between Jimmy and Craig. Surprisingly, Craig was pretty good at basketball. The game was evenly matched; Craig was full of energy, and Jimmy was a bit listless. However, Jimmy's competitiveness drove him, and he still tried to play well.

Gym class was nearly over; there was only two minutes left. The game was tied, and Amber's teammates cheered. They booed the other team, and screamed things like, "Come on, team!" and "One more basket!"

Jimmy had stolen the ball, and was sprinting down the court. He was about to shoot, but Spinner was blocking him. There was no way he could shoot over Spinner.

He looked around. Everyone was blocked but Amber. She was just standing there, and nobody was paying attention to her.

"Amber, quick!"

Jimmy passed the ball to her. For a second, she just stood there, startled at the ball in her hands.

"Hurry up, Amber! Shoot!"

After that, Amber didn't pause, and she threw the ball. Up, up, it went, and it curved nicely before swooshing into the basket.

"Yeah!"

Amber was still watching the strings of the basket swing back and forth, when the rest of the team cheered and jumped. Terri was beaming, and she mouthed to Amber, "Good job!"

Amber's teammates headed toward her, but Jimmy got to her first. He half hugged her and said, "Good job, Amber."

"Thanks," Amber managed, before the rest of the team swarmed over to her and surrounded her.

Afterwards, Terri and Amber had linked arms and were walking down the halls, when Terri commented, "You're pretty good at basketball. Who taught you?"

Amber simply said, "My dad," and nothing more.

* * *

Craig had plopped down next to Amber again in English class, and he was attempting to get somewhere with their project.

"Amber! We need to get going!"

Amber sighed, and turned around to face him.

"Okay then, what?"

Craig was excited. She was speaking to him. This was a definite step up.

"Well, we won't have enough time to work here at school." He paused, then casually mentioned, "So, we'll have to go to each other's houses."

_Uh oh_ was Amber's immediate reaction.

She blurted, "We can't work at my house."

"Why not?"

"Uh...umm..." Amber stuttered, "Well, uh...my mom is sick."

"Well, she'll probably get better before the project is due."

"B-but..." Amber couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. She had to come up with an excuse. "And...umm...my grandparents are staying with us, and the don't like guests and there's no room..." Amber was making it up as she went along. She felt guilty about lying, but she thought it was necessary.

Craig, a little downhearted, responded, "Oh. Okay."

Amber was relieved and managed to listen attentively to Craig the rest of the hour.

* * *

Terri and Amber were sitting on a bench, chatting, when Amber remarked, "You know, it's my birthday on Friday."

Terri squealed. "It is! Why didn't you tell me? Now I only have two more days to buy you a present!"

Amber blushed, and insisted, "Aww, Terri! You don't have to get me a present!"

"No, really! I will! And then, we'll sing 'Happy Birthday' and...Oh, this'll be so much fun!"

Amber was even more embarrassed by now. She tried to stop Terri, but Terri's enthusiasm couldn't be stifled. Eventually, Amber gave up and she just let Terri ramble.

* * *

Craig sat at home and thought. Amber had piqued his curiosity, and now he was desperate to find out what was wrong at her house. He needed to know what she was holding back. Amber was a bad liar, and he hoped that eventually, she'd trust him enough to tell him her secret.


	9. Scheming Minds

Terri was excitedly telling everyone about Amber's birthday. She was laying out her elaborate plans, even though Paige continually brought her back to down to earth. Paige often squashed Terri's plans by pointing out what could go wrong and what wouldn't work. This left Terri a bit downtrodden, but she would start zealously explaining some other ideas of hers.

Craig and Spinner had both heard Terri's ideas. They each pounced upon one important fact: Amber's birthday was Friday.

They each started their own plans. Their ideas, however, were a lot more sensible than Terri's. Their plans _had_ to work, and both of them grinned at the thought of what Amber's reaction would be.

Craig decided he would have to go on a little shopping spree. But first, he realized, he would need some cash. Time to go to Joey for funding.

Spinner already had what he needed: Amber's locker combination.

Each of the boys understood that this was a wonderful opportunity, and they were going to take advantage of it.

* * *

Meanwhile, Amber was in the middle of a conversation with Jimmy. She was trying to ignore Terri, who was still telling everyone about Amber's birthday. So, although she was quite aware of Terri's scheming, she was completely unaware of Craig and Spinner's plans.

Amber and Jimmy were talking about basketball, and they discovered that they both rooted for the same teams and admired the same players.

"So, what do you think of this guy's stats? He's horrible, isn't he? I think _I_ could do just as well as him!" As an afterthought, Jimmy added, "You're pretty good, too."

"Thanks," Amber replied. "You are good, though."

"Compared to that guy, maybe. But check out this guy's stats..."

* * *

"Amber, there's a committee meeting today after school," Paige informed her.

Reminded that she was on the committee, Amber audibly sighed, and said, "Okay, thanks."

* * *

Amber sat down in her seat and looked around distastefully at the other committee members. They were all guys. To make it worse, they were Craig, Spinner, and Jimmy. The Jimmy she didn't mind that much. Actually, she rather liked Jimmy. But the prospect of having to work with the other guys made Amber dread any upcoming meetings.

Jimmy cleared his throat, and in doing so, adopted the role of leader. "Well, we better get started. Everyone's here..."

Spinner interrupted, "I don't see why we have to start on a Valentine's Day dance when it's the middle of November."

Though that had been Amber's thoughts exactly, she glared at Spinner and responded, "Well, we need a lot of time to work. Otherwise, we won't get anything done." Amber's accusatory tone showed that, clearly, Amber had no faith in the rest of the group.

Craig cut in, "Nah, I think we'll be fine. How hard can it be, anyway?"

"Well, whether we need the time or not, we're going to start planning the dance right now." Jimmy, in a commanding voice, said. This ended the arguments for the moment. They were productive for the rest of the meeting; only a few, small conflicts arose.

* * *

Craig came home from the meeting, massaging his head. He got a migraine from the arguments, and he was extremely glad it was over. He had made a complete fool of himself in front of Amber, and it seemed as if Amber had a crush on Jimmy. The day couldn't get any worse. Craig rubbed his head even harder as he walked in the door.

Craig must have looked terrible, because as soon as Craig had shut the door behind him, Angela concernedly asked what was wrong.

"Nothing."

Angela piped up, "Craig, I can tell something's wrong. Tell me!"

"Okay. So there's this girl..."

Joey walked in. He had apparently overheard, because he questioned, "Is this the same girl as before?"

Craig sighed, "Yeah." He sat up. "That reminds me. Joey, I was wondering if I could borrow a little money."

Joey was suspicious. "What for?"

"For the girl."

Understandingly, Joey said, "Oh, I see!"

Craig promised, "I'll do anything! If you give me some money, I'll work at the lot until it's paid off. I'll do anything! I promise!"

Joey chuckled, "Wow. You really like this girl." Craig nodded.

"Okay. How much?"


	10. Happy Birthday!

"Happy Birthday!"

Terri hugged Amber, and they laughed.

"Here."

Terri handed Amber a gift-wrapped box with a beautiful bow on top.

"Oh, I told you not to get me a present!"

Terri grinned. "I couldn't resist. Come on, open it!"

Amber slowly peeled away the wrapping paper and lifted out a thin, white cardboard box. She lifted the lid, and gasped as she took out an elegant silver chain. On it was a tiny chair that had two girls with their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders. In between the two girls was a heart with a shiny red jewel in the middle. Etched on the heart was the words, "Friends Forever."

With a start, Amber found that tears were trickling down her cheeks. She hugged Terri again, and in hushed tones, whispered into Terri's ear, "This is the best present that anyone has ever given me."

Terri whispered back, "I hoped it would be."

* * *

As they strolled to their next class, arms linked together, Terri and Amber were laughing the whole way.

"I'm not going to put the necklace on until you've come over to my house," Amber informed Terri.

"Oh? And when will I do that?"

"Well..." Amber walked into the classroom. "I was thinking you'd maybe...hmm...sleep over tonight?"

Amber fought to keep from smiling. Terri gave up, beamed, and excitedly said, "I'd love to!"

* * *

Spinner creeped over to Amber's locker. He amazingly still remembered her locker combination. He twiddled around with it, then, with a flourish, opened the locker. He rifled through Amber's stuff, searching for something valuable to take with him. At the back of the full shelf in Amber's locker, he found the box with Terri's gift in it. Opening the box, he smiled. This was the exact kind of thing he was looking for. He discarded the plan of taking some of her homework; this was much better. In his mind, Spinner replayed what Amber had said to Terri earlier.

_I'm not going to put the necklace on until you've come over to my house._

_Oh? And when will I do that?_

_Well...I was thinking that you'd maybe...hmm...sleep over tonight?_

_I'd love to!_

Spinner laughed to himself. Soon, Amber would most certainly have no friends at all.

* * *

Craig was all ready to set his plan into motion, when he realized he had no way to put the stuff in Amber's locker. He didn't know her combination, and his present wouldn't fit through the crack above and underneath the locker door. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure which locker was hers! He groaned and leaned against a locker despairingly. His perfect plan wasn't so perfect after all. That's when he noticed Spinner closing a locker, and strolling away, whistling.

_Strange_, Craig thought, _Spinner's locker is next to mine..._

"Hey! Spinner!" Craig called.

Spinner turned. He grinned. "So, you're skipping class, too?"

Craig sheepishly said, "Yeah, I guess. But listen, whose locker were you just closing?"

Casually, Spinner replied, "Amber's. Why?"

Craig inwardly thought, _Yes!_ but managed to keep a straight face. "I need to get into her locker."

Spinner, in mock disbelief, said, "What? Do we have a juvenile delinquent here?"

Craig bluntly responded, "Can you get into her locker or not?"

Spinner pretended to ponder that. He stroked his chin, and said, "I can. But answer me one thing, Craig."

"What?"

"Do you like Amber or not?"

Craig reddened.

Spinner, satisfied, said, "I thought so."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Uh...yep." Spinner started to shake his head. "It's just sad to think that she doesn't like you anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Yep. She told me so herself." He shook his head even harder.

"What a pity. Oh well." By this time, Spinner had opened the locker.

As he walked away, Spinner called to Craig, "Well, my work is done. See you later, Craig!"

Craig was still thinking about what Spinner had said, so he wasn't aware of Spinner walking away. Amber had used to like him?

* * *

Amber opened her locker door, and was shocked to find a big box of chocolates sitting on the shelf in front of her. She took it out, and examined it. The box was in the shape of a heart, and a thick red ribbon was keeping the box closed. It looked to be pretty expensive, and Amber was touched that someone would go to the trouble of buying her a box of chocolates. She wondered who sent it to her. She didn't realize that the card had been knocked onto the ground, and kicked a couple of feet away. Upon not finding the card, Amber shrugged her shoulders, and started piling stuff into her backpack. Terri was waiting for her, and so, Amber hurried.

* * *

Craig was confused. Amber hadn't even glanced at him on the way out. He knew that she had seen the chocolates. She had taken them out, and looked at them. She had even smiled. Then, why didn't she smile at him? He decided that she must have been too busy or something.

Amber and Terri entered the Sullivan home.

"Mama, I'm home!" Amber called.

A tired-looking woman walked into Terri's view.

"Oh, you've brought a friend," Mrs. Sullivan said wearily. She sounded like she didn't have enough energy for a guest. Terri could see several gray hairs peeking out among the brown hairs on Mrs. Sullivan's head.

"Yes, Mama. This is Terri."

"Nice to meet you." Mrs. Sullivan extended a hand. Terri was surprised. Though Mrs. Sullivan had many wrinkles and creases on her face, her hand was smooth and beautiful. She had graceful fingers, and it looked like the hand of a young woman.

After shaking hands with Terri, Mrs. Sullivan turned to Amber. "So you're not keeping it a secret this time?"

Amber looked down at her feet. "Mama, I only told Terri."

Mrs. Sullivan sat down heavily on an armchair. "Well, that's a start."

* * *

After Terri had met Amber's brother, Corey, the two girls went up to Amber's bedroom.

Amber took out the box of chocolates, and excitedly showed them to Terri. "I found these in my locker today!"

"Who gave them to you?"

"I don't know. I couldn't find a card."

Slyly, Terri asked, "Who do you hope it is?"

"Well, out of the choices I've got, I'd say...uhh..." Amber's cheeks burned. "Jimmy."

"Jimmy? Uh, believe me, Amber, Jimmy's not the romantic type."

"That's true...So who do you think it is?"

For a good time after that, Terri and Amber discussed all the possible candidates.

* * *

"Oh! I was going to put on that necklace you gave me!" Amber exclaimed. She grabbed her backpack and dug through it. She muttered, "It's gotta be somewhere in here..."

Terri waited patiently, but once Amber had thrown everything out of her backpack and onto the floor, Amber gave up.

Apologetically, Amber said, "I must have left it in my locker."

At that time, Mrs. Sullivan told them that dinner was ready. They hurriedly walked over the things strewn all over the floor, and ran downstairs.


	11. Troubles

Amber stared wistfully out the window at the feathery snowflakes falling from the sky. She was stuck in another committee meeting; this time, it was before school. She wasn't paying any attention to what was going on.

"Amber? Amber!" Jimmy shook her.

Angry that he had stopped her mind from wandering, she said, annoyed, "What?"

"Well, Craig had the idea that everyone wear red, white, or pink for the dance. What do you think?"

Amber was blunt. "No."

Craig stood up. "Why not?"

Amber shrugged her shoulders, unable to think of a good reason. "I just think it's a bad idea."

This started a long round of arguments, and they didn't cease for quite a while.

* * *

Spinner was comically turning his head back from Craig, then to Amber, than back to Craig again. He watched as they tossed arguments mingled with insults at eachother. He thought it was hilarious.

_Arguing like a married couple_, Spinner thought. He thought of it as a lover's spat, and it amused him that their faces were set in such angry expressions. They were arguing over such a small and stupid thing, and they were carrying it way too far. It was annoying to hear them scream at eachother, but it was funny enough that it would be a shame to stop them.

He wondered what they were thinking.

* * *

_Why doesn't Amber just give up and take my side for once?_ Craig thought.

_Why can't Craig just stop? He should just let me win!_ Amber thought.

They kept going at it, and it seemed like they'd never stop. It seemed as though they would never run out of mean things to say to eachother.

Jimmy finally yelled, "Stop!"

They stopped, and breathing hard, they stared at Jimmy.

"Sit down," Jimmy commanded.

"Well, now that you've wasted the whole meeting, we'll have to schedule another one." Jimmy's tone was icy.

The bell rang, and everybody got up to leave.

* * *

"Wait, Amber."

Amber turned. Thinking Craig was going to apologize, a smug grin grew on her face.

Instead, Craig said, "Aren't you going to thank me?"

Amber was surprised. "For what?"

Giving up, Craig resignedly said, "Never mind," and left.

* * *

Amber was digging through the pigsty of her locker with Terri standing directly behind her.

"Serves me right for having a messy locker, I guess," Amber said.

They both laughed at that.

Suddenly, the P.A. system came on.

It blared, "Amber Sullivan, please report to the office." Then, it repeated again, "Amber Sullivan, please come to the office."

Amber was startled. She hoped she wasn't in trouble. At Terri's questioning glance, Amber gestured that she had no idea what was going on. She stuffed everything back into her locker, and hurried down to the office.

* * *

"Amber, dear, your father is very ill."

Amber's expression didn't change. Her expression was blank, and apparently, the fact hadn't registered in her mind.

"You need to go home right away and pack. You'll be with your father. You'll be gone for a while, but don't worry about your homework."

The lady patted Amber on the shoulder. Amber moved away, and slowly retreated out of the room.

* * *

"So, what happened?" Terri asked as Amber piled things into her backpack.

"My dad's really sick, so we have to go to be with him."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be. I don't really care all that much."

With that, Amber slammed her locker shut. She walked out of the school with her head held high. But even though she had insisted that she didn't care, there was still a trace of a tear forming in Amber's eye.


	12. Those Last Words

Amber sat in the plane and thought back to the days when she didn't have any friends. It hadn't started out that way. She used to have her little group of friends to hang out with. They had been pals since preschool. Amber knew that she might not have been the most popular girl in school, but she had had friends. But as soon as they had found out, they had ditched her. They completely forgot she existed. So much for being friends forever. So Amber had gone on, pretending that it didn't hurt. She faked that she didn't mind when her ex-friends laughed without her. Even though they had probably been laughing at her. What Amber couldn't understand was why they had left her. Why hadn't they been there for her like they said they would have during tough times? Why had they let her down? Amber couldn't figure out what went wrong.

At least she had a true friend now. But doubts still crept into and took a hold of Amber's brain. She had thought that her friends at her old school were true, and look what happened. But Amber desperately wanted friendship, so she tried to cast her fears aside.

After all, Terri had been really nice about _it_ and she truly had looked sorry about Amber's dad being ill.

Amber cursed the man that she had called her father. He had left their family when they could have used his support. Because of him, their family was struggling to continue on. He was the reason why Mrs. Sullivan looked so much older than she actually was. She looked fifty-five; she was thirty-six. And Corey had basically been growing up without a dad. Amber didn't even consider him a part of their family anymore.

Amber had been crumpling up her napkin full of peanut crumbs in anger. She realized this and dropped the napkin on the tray in front of her. Amber wished that Mr. Sullivan would hurry up and die already.

* * *

Ms. Kwan stood in front of the classroom. "Amber Sullivan is going to be out for quite a while due to an emergency family situation. Now, we will be very busy in the time that she is gone, and I will not have the time to explain it to her later. It will be better for one of you to collect the homework, and maybe explain it to her. Any volunteers?"

A crop of hands rose immediately in the air. Among the volunteers were Terri, Craig, and Spinner. With some deliberation, Ms. Kwan chose Craig. After all, he was doing well in her class.

Craig was glad that Ms. Kwan chose him. It was an excuse to go see Amber. Maybe he could comfort her, which in turn, might make her like him. He felt lucky that he had gotten this chance. _But_, he thought, _There wasn't much competition. I mean, come on! Spinner? No teacher in their right mind would choose him to take care of schoolwork for someone else. He's my friend and all, but you've got to face the facts. And Terri's a sweet girl, but she failed that one big assignment. Of course, I was clearly the only good choice._

With a self-satisfied look on his face, Craig faced the board and attentively listened to Ms. Kwan.

* * *

Mr. Sullivan lay in his hospital bed, unable to know what was going on around him. His daughter walked in the room, and sat down next to the dying man's bed.

Knowing it was too late, and knowing that Mr. Sullivan was unable to hear her, Amber told him, "You know what, _Dad_? You're dying. And I'm _glad_ that you're dying. Did you hear that? _I'm glad_. I can tell you how much I hate you, and you can't do anything about it. Why? Because soon, you'll be _dead_." Amber laughed shakily. She spat, "You've caused a lot of problems for us. You don't know how much you've hurt us. Have you seen Mama? Have you seen what you've done to her? She's been crying. You've hurt her." Amber wanted to shake the man on the bed beside her. "Everything would've been so much better if you had never existed. You've ruined my life!" Amber's chest heaved after she had screamed those last words to him.

The door opened, and a nurse walked in. The nurse took Amber by the shoulders, and in a soothing voice, told Amber, "It's okay, dear. It'll be fine now. But you need to go out of the room." The nurse led the shaking Amber through the door. Amber looked back, and glared once more at Mr. Sullivan's body before the door closed.

* * *

Craig approached Terri. Craig noticed that she looked odd without Amber by her side. They had seemed inseparable before. When Craig finally reached Terri, he tapped her on the shoulder.

"What?"

"I was just wondering what was wrong with Amber."

Defensively, Terri said, "There's nothing wrong with her! Her dad is sick, that's all."

"Oh." Then, after a moment, "I guess her parents are divorced."

"Why do you say that?"

"Ms. Kwan said, 'For a while.' If Mr. Sullivan lived with them, Amber could still go to school, because Mr. Sullivan would be in a hospital nearby."

Approving of Craig's logic, Terri responded, "I see what you mean. Poor Amber."

Sharply, Craig said, "Amber wouldn't want you to feel sorry for her. She wouldn't want to be pitied."

Terri didn't reply. Instead, she just walked ahead.

* * *

Amber looked through her black veil at the coffin in front of her. She was hiding behind the many flowers because she wanted to get away from all of the drawn faces of strangers.

Amber looked at her weeping mother. Having run out of tissues, Mrs. Sullivan was wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her black dress. Amber felt angry at her mother for caring so much about Mr. Sullivan's death and for crying in front of the guests. It looked as if Mrs. Sullivan was weak, when she had been strong enough to go through more hard times than anyone else there.

Amber hadn't shed a single tear during the whole thing, but Amber couldn't help her eyes from watering when the coffin was being lowered into the ground. She turned away from the sight and ferociously wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. Amber felt that Mr. Sullivan didn't deserve any tears. She felt that since he had never cried any tears for them, so they ought not to cry for him. Amber thought, _He deserved to die._


	13. Forgiven Mistakes

Craig had pinned up the picture of Amber and the other boy. It was on the wall by his bed. He now felt that if he saw the boy in the street, he'd recognize him. He looked at the picture often, and each time, his jealousy increased. It was so heightened that he wanted to strangle the boy in the picture. In fact, he had ripped the picture in half a couple of days ago and he had thrown the half with the boy away into his desk drawer. However, he later took it out and put it back up on the wall. Craig needed to know what the boy looked like if he wanted to beat the boy up later.

Craig was gazing at the picture when little Angela walked in.

Upon seeing the picture halves, Angela questioned, "Is that the girl you're in love with?"

"I don't know if I'm in love with her, but I like her, yeah."

"Who's the guy, then?"

"No one."

Sensing that the conversation was over, Angela headed out.

* * *

Amber arrived home, a little woozy. She pressed the button on the answering machine and listened for messages. There were two.

The first one went, "Hey, Amber! This is Terri. If you want to talk, call me later, okay? Or we can talk at school."

Amber wanted to talk to Terri, but she didn't think she could face civilization for a while.

Then, the second one came on. "Hi, Amber. This is, uh, Craig. Um, I have your homework and stuff. So call me, and I guess I'll come over and give it to you. Uh, yeah. So call me, okay? Yeah. Right. Bye now."

_Craig_ had her homework? Oi. Amber had no choice but to call him. She felt a little dazed, but picked up the phone to call him.

* * *

Craig prodded his hair once again. He wanted to look good for Amber, but his hair wasn't cooperating. He eventually gave up and left.

Unfortunately, Craig had no coat, he had left the homework behind, and he had no idea how to get to Amber's home.

So, he rushed home (in the meantime, ruining his hair), called Amber, picked up the homework off of the kitchen table, and rushed back out. Craig was thankful that his conversation with Amber had been over the phone. She didn't see how red he was.

* * *

Craig rang the doorbell, and waited expectantly on the faded doormat. He could faintly read the word, "Welcome." Craig scrutinized the house as he bounced impatiently on the porch. It was an ordinary house, and it was not outstanding in any way. It matched Amber perfectly. They were both plain, and the house was even painted the same mousy brown color as Amber's hair.

The door opened, and out stepped a boy. Craig stepped back. It was the boy in the picture. It was the exact same boy!

The boy was about to say something, but Amber walked out at that instant. She nudged the boy back inside, and told him, "Go inside, dear. I'll be back inside in just a second."

Craig was so astonished that he just stood there, gaping. The boy obeyed Amber's instructions, and silently crept inside. Amber stepped out on the porch and closed the front door behind her. She was close to him. Really close.

"So. My homework?" Amber asked.

"Oh, right!" Craig took the crumpled papers out from his pockets, and started to hand it to Amber, but stumbled. Amber held on to his arm and helped him stand up, even though he was much bigger than her.

Embarrassed, Craig coughed and said, "Thanks." He gave her the messy bunch of papers. Then, "I'm sorry about your dad. Is he okay now?"

"No, he died."

Craig tentatively put an arm around Amber's small shoulders, intending to be comforting. "I'm sorry. I understand how you feel, though. My dad died, too."

Amber had just started to get comfortable with Craig's arm around her, but backed out of it.

"You don't understand. I hated him."

"I used to think I hated my dad, too."

Amber was sarcastic. "And, let me guess. Now you don't?"

"I realized that he's made some mistakes, like any human being. And I forgave him for his mistakes."

"I'll never forgive him."

They stood there awkwardly for a while until Amber asked, "Why was Manny so mad at you, anyway?"

"What? Oh! She got mad at something I said and broke up with me."

"Oh."

There was silence again, but eventually Amber said, "I have to go in now. See you at school tomorrow, Craig. Bye."

"Bye."

Craig went halfway through a wave, and then regretfully headed home.

Amber sadly watched him go away. Mrs. Sullivan walked out and queried, "He doesn't know, does he?"

"No..."

"You have to tell him sometime."

Amber's shoulders dropped. "I know."

Craig heard all this as he walked away, and wondered what Amber had to tell him.

* * *

Amber was thinking about what Craig had said. He had said that _Manny_ had broken up with _him_, not the other way around. So he hadn't broken up with her because he liked Amber. Even though Amber had said that she didn't care, this fact disheartened her a little. She still sort of wished he liked her. After all, she had liked it when Craig had put his arm around her shoulders.


	14. Reflections

Amber shivered; the temperature had dropped drastically over the weekend, and it was snowing heavily. School was out since Christmas was in a few days. It seemed that there was holiday spirit all around. And although the Sullivan household was attempting to be festive, Amber actually wasn't looking forward to Christmas much. She wasn't expecting many presents, and Christmas would probably be a quiet affair, anyway.

Amber was sitting outside on her porch, contemplating the meaning of life. Corey and she had taken some tests at the hospital a month ago, and the results had arrived yesterday. The statistics confirmed the Sullivans' worst fears, and this made the holiday season a little more strained than usual. Amber hated that her life was such a nightmare, and she wished she could run away from it all.

Amber thought back to when Mr. Sullivan was still a part of the family. Although Amber had disliked him then, she had to admit that he had made life so much easier. He was the one with the full-time job, and it was his income that supported the family. Because of this, as soon as he left, things got a lot tougher. Mrs. Sullivan couldn't get a full-time job, and so, the family income was much reduced. Amber had had to give up many luxuries.

It was hard for Corey, too. It was tough for him in the first place, but Corey couldn't figure out where Mr. Sullivan had gone. One day, he had been there; the next, he wasn't.

It was toughest of all for Mrs. Sullivan. She had enjoyed a quiet, peaceful life. Then, it was rudely interrupted. She had had to adapt to a new lifestyle, and she was given the responsibility of raising two kids by herself. Not to mention that one of them was having problems. Mrs. Sullivan had been faced with many difficult choices, and she wasn't entirely sure that she had made the wisest decisions. But, in a way, this fear drove her life.

Amber looked across the street and saw three kids playing in the snow. They were making snowmen, throwing snowballs, making snow angels, and just having fun in general.

Amber saw the many snow angels the kids had made, and wished one of the angels could come to life and save her.

* * *

Jimmy was nodding his head to the music he was listening to, and he let his mind wander. He was thinking about basketball, which, in turn, somehow got him thinking about Amber. She was a nice enough girl, and he could tell that she had it bad for him. He thought about that for a while...He hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time...

* * *

Craig sat at the dinner table, poking at his food with his fork. He had already arranged the food in several mounds on his plate, and now, he was poking holes into the small hills of food.

Angela was telling Joey about her 'boyfriend' that she had met at the playground. Craig thought, _I have the most rotten luck in the world. Even Angela managed to get a boyfriend she likes! Why can't I get Amber to like me? I'm a lot older than Angela, and she has a more successful love life than I do! What is up with that?_

Craig dropped his fork onto his plate with a clank, and excused himself from the table.

Craig went up to his room, and took out the picture of Amber and the boy.

What was the boy doing at Amber's house? But then again, if the boy was her boyfriend, it'd be sort of natural. What had Amber said to the boy? Oh yes.

_Go inside, dear. I'll be back inside in just a second._

Dear. Nobody said 'dear' nowadays, but the way Amber said it made Craig wish that she had been calling him dear.

Amber was the only person that he'd ever allow to call him 'dear.'

* * *

Amber was in the bathroom, looking at her mirror image. She detested her boring brown hair, her small, slightly turned-up nose, and her pale pink mouth. She didn't think she was beautiful in any way, and she thought, _No wonder I've never had a boyfriend. No wonder guys don't like me at all._

Corey came into the bathroom to see what Amber was doing.

Amber hated his reflection, too. She knew that he would never go to Tenth Grade with a girlfriend by his side. Amber whispered to him, "I'm sorry you have to lead such a horrible life."

Corey didn't reply. He just walked out of the bathroom and left Amber alone.


	15. Merry Christmas

Amber had just opened her Christmas presents. She sat with her back leaning on the prickly, fake tree. Amber hadn't asked for much, and all she got was a board game that she'd probably never play.

Amber bundled up, and went outside. She sat in the glistening snow, ruining the perfect background of untouched white. She took a handful of powdery snow and childishly put the snowflakes on the tip of her nose. She giggled as the cold snow melted into a puddle of water. She lay down in the snow and closed her eyes. If only this moment could last forever. If only the world could stand still, and she could always feel this peaceful. She would love to always be stuck in this moment; she didn't want the time to slip away.

Amber laid there on the ground, her tears mingling with the melted snow on her face.

* * *

Craig was pacing up and down his room, trying to get up the nerve to actually pick up the phone and dial the number. This was messing up his Christmas Day. He had gotten great presents (one of them was a camera that he had been admiring for a long time!) and it had just been, generally, a good day. But this nagging feeling was gnawing at him, and it was like a mosquito bite that he absolutely needed to scratch.

Why couldn't he just call Amber? Why couldn't he just ask her out and tell her that he likes her? Why couldn't it be as simple as that?

He couldn't call because his yearning was accompanied by a sense of fear. If he actually followed through and called Amber, he would stutter and he would not be able to say anything. He would end up feeling dumb, and he would believe that Amber thought him dumb, too. Even if he asked her out, what if she said no?

Craig could make a never-ending list of the things he loved about her, and that's why he was so afraid of being rejected. He loved the way she had fit when he had his arm around her. He loved the way she talked; he loved the way she moved. He loved practically everything about her. The only thing he didn't love was the way she didn't seem to care about him.

Craig could not summon up the courage needed to do the deed, and, throughout the day, he changed his shirt often. For some reason, he felt itchy all day.

* * *

Jimmy was confident. He had the phone ready, and he knew exactly what he was going to say to Amber. If she rejected him, oh well. His feelings wouldn't be terribly hurt, and his pride wouldn't be too injured.

He cleared his throat several times, picked up the phone, and pushed some buttons.

* * *

"Amber, phone!"

Amber got up and brushed off the snow from her coat. She wondered who was calling. She deduced (incorrectly) that it was Terri.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Amber! This is Jimmy. Merry Christmas!"

Amber couldn't hide the surprise in her voice. "Oh, hi! And you, too. Merry Christmas, I mean."

Jimmy chuckled. Amber was in the palm of his hand. "Yeah, thanks. But listen, let me get straight to the point. I was wondering if you wanted to do something this Thursday. We could go see that movie, you know?"

Amber became even more shy than usual. "Uh...okay. I'd...uh...like that."

"All right. I'll come over to get you, at, say...7:00."

"Okay. Bye, Jimmy."

"Bye, Amber. See you Thursday!"

Amber hung up the phone, and leaned against the wall. What in the world had she gotten herself into?


	16. A Night Out

Terri was reading a poetry book when the doorbell rang. The McGreggors weren't expecting guests, so Terri had no idea who it would be. It was the Thursday after Christmas anyway, so it wasn't a holiday. Terri pulled open the front door.

"Amber! Well, this is a surprise."

Amber, without thinking, just walked into the McGreggor home, clutching her head. "Oh my gosh, Terri, what am I supposed to do? How do I get out of this mess? Oh my gosh..."

Terri held her hands out to stop Amber. "Whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Amber. What mess?"

Amber babbled, "See, Jimmy asked me out and we're going to see a movie tonight, but I don't know what to wear, or how to act, or, Oh my goodness! I don't know how to kiss a guy, and...and...What do I do if he takes my hand? And..."

"Didn't you hear the part about slowing down?"

"I'm sorry, Terri, I'm just so nervous!"

"First date, huh?"

"Yeah, and I don't know what to do!"

"You do like Jimmy, right?"

"Yes...no...I don't know!"

"You don't know? What happened to the, 'I hope Jimmy was the one who gave me these chocolates'?

"I still like him. I think. But when Craig came over to give me my homework, he put his arm around me, and it just felt right. I belonged there, somehow."

"Sounds like a bad case of L-O-V-E."

"I don't love him! I don't even like him! If I like him even a tiny bit, I wouldn't have said yes to Jimmy."

Terri sounded skeptical. "I don't know about that..."

"No, honestly! If I liked Craig, I'm positive that I would've said no to Jimmy." Amber got confused. "Right?"

Teasing, Terri said, "I've told you before. I don't know the answer to that. Only you do. But I still think you're in love with Craig."

* * *

Jimmy was looking in the mirror, admiring himself. He knew he looked good. He was going to knock Amber off her feet. With his good looks and great taste, (not to mention his killer smile) he could knock any girl off her feet. Self-satisfied, he looked at the clock. Yikes! 6:57 already! He had better start going. He strolled out the door, confidence in every step.

* * *

Amber was waiting anxiously at the doorway. She kept on looking through the window, waiting to see Jimmy walk up the drive. Terri had managed to calm her down earlier, so Amber's heart did not pound as loudly as it did before. Terri had given her advice, and had even picked out an outfit for Amber.

Jimmy came into view. Amber's heart did not leap as she had thought it would. It quickened only a little, and it wasn't that noticeable.

Jimmy rang the doorbell. Amber opened the door wide, smiled nervously, and walked out onto the porch. Crossing her fingers and hoping for a good date, Amber tentatively took Jimmy's hand. She didn't look back at her home, where Mrs. Sullivan was sadly watching her daughter go away.

* * *

Craig was getting restless. There was nothing to do; he had already played outside with Angela, and he had even gone so far as to play every board game in the house. Craig was bored, and he couldn't think of any better alternative than to slouch on the couch and watch TV. Craig gave up on the television when the majority of the programs started to be game shows. It was 7:10 P.M., and Craig decided that he might as well have a night out with the guys.

He picked up the phone and called Sean. No answer. Spinner. Noone was there. Marco. Answering machine. He called Jimmy. This time, a lady answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Is Jimmy there?"

"I'm sorry, honey. He just went to the movie theater on a date. Can I take a message?"

Politely, Craig said, "No, that's okay. But thank you anyway! Bye."

"Buh-bye, now."

The movie theater, eh? Craig got ready to go out. He wanted to see who Jimmy's date was.


	17. Let's Go to the Movies

Craig had decided that he'd go solo on this mission. If Spinner had come along, Jimmy would know right away that they were spying on him. And it wouldn't be fair to only exclude Spinner. So, alone, Craig headed to the movie theater.

* * *

Jimmy and Amber had arrived at the movie theater. Jimmy offered to pay for the tickets, and Amber shyly let him. As Jimmy stood in line to buy the tickets for the movie, Amber wandered over to the side and gazed at the movie posters.

* * *

Craig was right behind Jimmy in line. However, Craig didn't see any sign of a girl with Jimmy. Yet, Craig heard Jimmy ask for two tickets to see the movie. Jimmy paid for the tickets and walked away. By the time Craig finished paying for his ticket, Jimmy was gone and out of sight.

* * *

Amber and Jimmy walked into the theater and found some seats near the back row.

Amber said to Jimmy, "Uh, why are we sitting so far back? I'm not going to be able to see anything over all these people's heads."

With a sly wink, Jimmy replied, "The movie isn't going to be the only entertainment tonight." At Amber's puzzled expression, Jimmy said, "You'll see.."

Amber was getting worried.

That 'You'll see' didn't sound good. Suddenly, the previews came on, and Amber directed her attention to the screen.

* * *

Craig sat in the back row, right behind Jimmy and the girl. Craig couldn't tell who the girl was from the back, and he waited for her to turn her head. He wasn't even paying attention to the movie. He ignored the ominous music and the screaming coming from the big screen.

Jimmy was whispering something into the girl's ear. The girl shook her head, but it was too fast for Craig to recognize who it was. Craig propped his feet up on the empty seat next to him, clasped his hands behind his head, and relaxed. This was going to be one long movie.

* * *

Amber was starting to feel rather uncomfortable at this time. Jimmy was going too quickly; he was going too fast. He had whispered about something that Amber did not want to think about, much less do. So, she stared right at the movie screen, pretending to be absorbed in the non-existent story plot and the horrible computer graphics.

Amber now understood what Jimmy meant when he said that the movie wasn't the only entertainment. All around them, teen couples were attached by the mouth, and it made Amber's stomach turn. She was sickened by the thought of being so engrossed in that kind of thing. She hoped Jimmy wouldn't kiss her. First of all, she had never been kissed before, so she would have no idea what she was doing. Second of all, she wasn't sure if Jimmy was the boy she wanted to kiss.

"Amber," Jimmy said, "look at me."

Amber did. And suddenly, his face was coming closer and closer, until there was no space between them at all.

Amber's first instinct was to push away, but she found herself melting and kissing him back. She was so hungry for love that she started hanging onto him. She was gripping him so tightly that afterwards, Jimmy had red marks.

Then, an image of Craig flashed in her brain. She pushed Jimmy away as ferociously as she had been kissing him. Wiping at her mouth, Amber ran out of the theater.

* * *

Craig nearly toppled off his chair in surprise. That girl...that girl with the makeup and the stylish outfit that outlined her figure...that girl who had been kissing Jimmy...that girl had been Amber?

As quickly as a second passes, Craig went from being shocked to being angry. How could Jimmy have done that? How could Jimmy go out with Amber and kiss her? Jimmy should've known that Craig liked her! That back-stabbing, lying, snot-nosed cheat! How could he?

Then, Craig thought about Amber for the ten millionth time that day. Did she not know how much he cared about her? Did she not know how much this hurt him?

Craig got up and left the theater almost at the exact same time that Jimmy did.

* * *

How dare she do that to him? How dare she push away Jimmy Brooks? This was unheard of! If you go out with Jimmy, than it was he that does the pushing. How could Amber do that? And in the middle of a kiss! She was a good kisser, he conceded. But still!

Women! Who knew with them?

* * *

Amber was lost in thought. She was so confused on how she felt. She got into bed, and pulled up the covers over her head. Maybe it would all look better in the morning.


	18. Identity

Craig was going to do it. He was going to do what he had wanted to do all along. He was going to confront Amber about the picture and the date, and he was going to tell her how he felt.

They were back in school, and Craig had felt very uncomfortable. He couldn't look Amber in the eye, and he had been being cold to Jimmy. Jimmy must have wondered about this, because Jimmy had angrily asked why Craig was being so frosty to him. Because of this, there was now a lot of tension between the two boys.

Craig confidently marched through the doors of Degrassi C.S., ready to confess to Amber how he felt. However, once he saw Amber's face, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Craig glumly went through the rest of the morning, disappointed in himself.

* * *

Terri had been watching Craig. She still believed that Craig had feelings for Amber, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw his face. Terri knew she was right. Especially once Craig had talked to her.

Craig had come up to her that morning, carefully looking away from the spot beyond Terri where Amber was standing.

Craig had relaxed then. His tense shoulders unhunched, his fingers started tapping, and he started to breathe slower and deeper than before.

"So, Terri, I was wondering if you could answer this question for me. Since you're a girl and all."

Terri was patient with him. "Okay. Shoot."

"Say, hypothetically, this guy likes this girl."

Terri was positive he was talking about him and Amber. But she encouraged, "Go on."

"And there's this whole mess where he's seen her with a couple other guys, and he really, really likes her, but he doesn't know if she likes him back."

Calmly, Terri replied, "Well, I'm sure she likes him back. But has he done anything special for her?" Slyly, Terri continued, "Has he given her a present? Maybe written a song for her?"

"He's done both. But she hasn't heard the song."

"Well, I suggest that he just tell her."

Craig sighed. "Okay..."

* * *

After school, Craig stopped Amber. He was going to ask Amber about the picture because he absolutely had to know. But, he didn't have quite enough courage to tell her how he felt yet.

Craig went straight to the point. "Amber, who was that guy at your house?"

"Guy at my house? When?" Amber managed to look calm and collected, although her heart was pounding.

"When I gave you your homework."

Amber thought about that. Who could Craig be talking about? Amber tried to remember, but Craig was so close that it was distracting her.

Craig then took out the picture and held it up to her face. It dawned on her. A look of understanding and terrible sadness swept over her face.

Amber quietly said, "That's my brother."

Craig was taken aback. That boy was her brother?

Now that it was out, it was easy to let it all out. "He's got Down's Syndrome. That's what causes the squashing in of his face, and that's why he's a little mentally retarded. Please don't tell anyone." By this time, tears were streaming from her sad eyes.

"And it's not his fault! It's my stupid dad."

"Then how come you..." Craig stopped.

"The guy that died was my step dad, Craig. My real dad died when I was a week old, and my mom remarried, like, five months later. My stepdad, even though I've called him 'Dad' my whole life, is the one to blame for making Corey's life so horrible. It's made my life miserable, too. Do you know how many times I've seen people make fun of Corey? And every time someone says something like, "That's retarded," my heart hurts for Corey. He'll never be as lucky as us. We don't appreciate how extremely fortunate we are." Amber threw her arm around Craig's neck and sobbed into his chest. Craig held her tight and murmured, "There, there."

So this was why Amber had been such a loner. This was why Amber was different. And this was why he loved her.

He could see that now. He truly cared about her, and he was going to protect her in any way he could. Now, all he needed to do was tell him he loved her and get her to go to the Valentine's Day Dance with him.


	19. In Love

Amber was worried. Now that Craig knew, would he act different towards her? Would he tell people and make fun of her?

Amber hated not knowing what was going on. She hadn't known when Corey was diagnosed, and she felt that even though she was happy during that time, she shouldn't have been. How could she have been happy when her little brother was suffering?

Amber was so caught up in her emotions that she collided into Jimmy as he was heading to his next class. Things were still awkward between them, so Amber looked away. Without a word, Jimmy walked on by, ignoring Amber. She noticed that Jimmy didn't say hi to Craig, though he said hi to some other people that he wasn't as close to. What was going on?

Jimmy wondered what in the world was going on between Craig and himself. All he knew was that Craig had started it, and Jimmy wasn't going to be the first one to be a wimp and back down.

Terri was standing next to him, and they fell into easy conversation. It was funny how much easier it was to talk to Terri than to talk to Craig or Amber. She was a good listener, and she acted like she honestly cared.

As he chatted with Terri, he glanced over and watched as Craig sat down next to Amber. Their heads were close together as they talked. Were they conspiring against him? Jimmy knew that neither of them were on good terms with him. But no, Jimmy dismissed that thought and decided that they were just talking about their project.

Craig knew that he ought to patch things up with Jimmy or at least tell him why he was being frosty, but Craig had other pressing matters to tend to.

Now that Craig knew he was in love with Amber, he expected that when he walked into the classroom, Amber would leap into his arms or something. He didn't know why he thought that way; he just thought that since his feelings for Amber had changed, she would feel different, too.

But it seemed like she didn't. Or maybe she did, but not in the way Craig wanted. She seemed to withdraw more once Craig was around. This was bad.

"Amber, are you okay?" Craig softly asked.

She nodded, as she turned toward the blackboard, leaving her back to Craig.

Craig was sorely tempted to put his arms around her small body, but the way she was acting made him draw back.

"Come on, Amber. You can trust me. Is something wrong?"

"How do I know I can believe you?" Amber's voice was harsh to keep her from submitting and crying in Craig's arms. She wouldn't let Craig get an advantage and trick her into doing something she didn't want to do.

Craig winced. What had happened? He had thought there was a connection between them.

"Amber, you should know that you can trust me. I love you with all my heart."

There, he had said it. With people all around them, too.

Amber felt herself tremble as Craig murmured those words. He loved her?

But the question was, did she love him back? Amber paused and deliberated while Craig waited anxiously for a response.

Did Amber love Craig? Did she know what love was? Did she care about Craig enough to call it love? Weren't they a little young for love?

Amber wasn't sure yet if she loved Craig. She knew it would break Craig's heart, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to him. She had lied to him before about her mom being sick and her grandparents staying with them and stuff, but this was different.

She looked at Craig and gazed into his beautiful eyes. She looked down and softly said, "I'm not sure if I love you, Craig."

Craig fell back heavily into his chair, devastated. She didn't love him. Those four words echoed in his brain. She didn't love him.

He could feel tears spring up in his eyes. He blinked a couple of times to keep them back.

Amber knew she had hurt Craig terribly. She felt horrible because of it, but there was nothing that could be done now. There was no way to take back those words.


	20. Temper Tantrums

Terri was giddy with happiness when she met up with Amber that day, after school. Amber couldn't figure out why she was so cheerful, mainly because Amber was so sad herself. She had just broken Craig's heart, and her heart felt pretty broken, too. In fact, Amber felt rather surly because Terri was happy when she wasn't. To put it simply, Amber was jealous.  
  
The thoughts that ran through her head were, 'How can she be glad about something when I'm feeling as far from being glad as possible? Isn't a real friend supposed to know when you're feeling bad? Terri's supposed to be comforting me, not being so wrapped up in her own life!' Amber's old fears that Terri would desert her returned with full force. Amber could not feel happy for Terri; at least, now when she as feeling so depressed.  
  
Amber was curious as Terri was so happy, though, so she asked, "Hey, Ter, why are you so happy, anyway?"  
  
Terri sighed blissfully. Casually, she said, "Oh, Jimmy asked me out."  
  
Amber was aghast. She sputtered, "Jimmy? As in Jimmy Brooks?" Amber started sounding hysterical. "The Jimmy I went out with?"  
  
Terri remained calm and placed a comforting arm around Amber's shoulders.  
  
"Look, Amber, I know you had problems with him on your date. But he makes me happy." She pleaded, "Don't you want me to be happy?"  
  
Amber was conflicted. She did want Terri to be happy, but she was in a bad mood. At the moment, Amber didn't want anything to go right for anyone. She sort of grunted a reply and turned away.  
  
Terri felt like Amber slapped her. The grunt stung Terri, and Terri went from being only frustrated to being angry.  
  
"Fine. Don't be happy for me. Be lost in your own little world of self- pity. Be that way," Terri told Amber.  
  
Amber was livid. Her face darkened to a beet red color, and her hands curled into fists.  
  
"I am not lost in my own world of self-pity! I do care about other people! Unlike _you_!"  
  
Terri yelled, "Me? What are you talking about? You're the one that's always talking about your own problems!"  
  
"You didn't even say anything when you saw I was sad today! You just kept on being happy! And you say _I_ don't care about other people?"  
  
"So you don't even want me to be happy?"  
  
"You know what? I don't, in fact. I wouldn't care if you were never, ever happy!"  
  
Terri was shocked. How could Amber be saying this to her? They had gotten so close. They had each entrusted their secrets to the other, but now, Terri could see the animosity in Amber's eyes. Did her own eyes have that same, awful look?  
  
Terri regretted what she had said before. She knew it wasn't true; Amber didn't always think of herself. And maybe she should've asked Amber what was wrong.  
  
With a sense of apology accompanying every word, Terri whispered, "I'm so sorry, Amber. I didn't mean it."  
  
Amber still could not get over the feeling of anger in the pit of her stomach.  
  
She snapped, "Well, I meant every word that I said. I'm not sorry at all." She turned on her heel and left Terri standing there, alone.  
  
Terri felt tears push at the corners of her eye. How could such a small argument set her off? How could it have separated them so quickly? How had things gotten worse so fast?

* * *

Craig was walking with his hands in his pockets with Spinner and Marco by his side. His head was inclined as he gazed at the ground.  
  
Spinner had been rambling for some time, and so Craig tuned out as he shuffled his way with the two other boys.  
  
However, his ears perked up when Spinner said something that sounded similar to 'Amber'. As it turned out, Spinner was talking about Amber. But the words Spinner was saying was not to Craig's liking.  
  
Spinner snorted, then said, "You should've seen the look on Amber's face when Ms. Kwan called on her today."  
  
Craig sprung to life and clutched Spinner's collar. It happened so quickly that Spinner was surprised when he figured out that his shirt was tight around his neck and that it was difficult to breathe.  
  
"Don't you dare make fun of Amber."  
  
Not only was Craig's voice scary, the way Craig glared at Spinner was terrifying. Even Marco could see how strongly Craig felt. Spinner was practically trembling.  
  
Craig let go. Spinner breathed again.  
  
He rasped, "Oh, I forgot. You're in love."  
  
Apparently, Spinner still had the tendency to joke around. It also appeared that he still had an inclination to say stupid things at bad times.  
  
This was one of those bad times. And the 'You're in love" comment was a very stupid thing to say to Craig.  
  
Craig looked like he was going to beat the pulp out of Spinner, but Marco held him back.  
  
"Aww, let him at me," Spinner said. "He just wants to defend his stupid girlfriend. Though it's beyond me what he sees in that weird loner."  
  
Craig tried to fight out of Marco's grasp, but Marco had a firm grip on him. All the same, Spinner cowered and fell to the ground, his hands covering his head.  
  
Craig shouted, "She has a reason for keeping away from everyone! Not only are all you guys freaks, but her brother is mentally disabled!"  
  
Spinner was incredulous. "She has a retarded brother?"  
  
"Yeah, that's right!" But then, Craig stopped and thought again. "NO! He's not retarded!"  
  
Craig had gotten himself very confused. How was he supposed to defend Amber's brother? Did he say that her brother was retarded or not?  
  
Craig gave up and left in a huff. He didn't want to screw things up any more than he already had. 

It wasn't until he got home that Craig realized he had, in fact, screwed things up more than he had thought. Amber had asked him not to tell anyone, and he had just let two people know. And what if other people had been around and had overheard? This was bad.

* * *

He picked up the phone and frantically dialed Marco's number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Marco. This is Craig. Please don't tell." The words came out all in a rush.  
  
Marco was very confused. "Tell what?"  
  
"About Amber."  
  
"Uhh...okay then. But why does it have to be kept secret?"  
  
"Just because. And could you get Spinner not to tell, too?"  
  
Marco shrugged, though Craig couldn't see it. "Sure, whatever. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Craig was very, very relieved.

* * *

Amber sat by herself in her room. She had done it again. She had alienated the only friend she had. But this time, there was nowhere else to run. 


	21. Accusations and Revelations

Amber walked through school alone. Terri was avoiding her, and Craig was nowhere to be seen.

Amber's shoulders drooped as she went through the hallways. She had tried to get out of school that day, but her mother insisted that Amber had to go. Amber had given in, but she really wished she was at home. She watched her shuffling feet, and so she did not see the curious stares she was getting.

Nadia crossed Amber's path, and Amber stopped. She had nearly collided with Nadia and her wheelchair.

"Sorry," Amber said apologetically.

Sweetly, Nadia replied, "Oh, it's okay. For a second, I thought that I was going to run you over!"

Amber chuckled obligingly. Then, Nadia's necklace caught her eye. It was an elegant silver chain. On it was a tiny charm that had two girls with their arms wrapped around eachother's shoulders. In between them was a heart with a red jewel inside. Etched on the heart were the words, "Friends Forever." This necklace was exactly the same as the necklace Terri had given Amber for her birthday.

Casually, Amber asked, "Nadia, where did you get that necklace?"

"Oh, this?" Nadia touched the charm. "Kendra gave it to me for Christmas. Why?"

"Just wondering...I had a necklace like that, but I lost it."

"I could ask Kendra where she got it."

Amber brushed the offer aside. "No, no. It's okay. Thanks, anyway."

"You're welcome!" Then, Nadia's voice lowered. "Hey, is it true that you have a retarded brother?"

Amber jerked away. "Where did you hear that?"

Nadia shrugged. "I just heard it from a bunch of people. It's just a stupid rumor, though. I wouldn't worry too much about it." Nadia pushed herself away to class.

Amber stood in the hallway while everyone else pushed around her. The anger she felt pushed at her from the inside, threatening to explode.

Who could've spilled her secret? Amber needed to know.

Then, it occurred to her. Terri.

* * *

With Jimmy's arm around her waist, Terri was smiling contentedly as Jimmy talked to her and Ashley. Ellie was filming for her co-op job and was asking them some questions.

Then, Amber stormed in and shakingly pointed at Terri, her eyes ablaze.

"You! _How could you_?"

Ashley and Jimmy stared, clueless as to what was going on. Ellie lowered her video camera and gaped also.

It seemed as though Terri was just as clueless as the rest of them.

"What are you talking about?" Terri coldly asked.

"You told! You...you...I _trusted_ you!"

Terri's expression was still blank.

Amber hissed, "Corey!"

"What about him?"

"You told about...about..."

Then, Terri understood, and it was **her** turn to be angry.

Terri vehemently said, "I didn't! I'd never to do that!"

"Well, you must've! No one else would betray my trust!"

"What do you mean, no one else? You mean, you told someone else?"

Amber admitted, "I told Craig, but he wouldn't tell anyone! He told me _he loved me_!"

Terri scoffed, "So, just because he told you he loved you, you're going to believe him instead of your best friend?"

"Terri, we're not best friends anymore."

Amber still wasn't over her bad mood. Amber had always had a mean streak in her, but she rarely let it show. However, she was furious at the moment, and she thought that she didn't care if she hurt Terri.

What Amber didn't know in her brain but felt in her heart was that she was hurting herself, too.

* * *

Craig had managed to convince Joey that he was sick and needed to stay home. Yet, in some ways, this was worse than going to school and facing Amber. Joey had left to go with Snake and Angela was at school, and that left Craig alone. Staying home alonegave Craig too much space and too much time to think about how he had betrayed Amber. He trusted Marco to keep quiet, but Spinner was a different story. Craig wasn't sure if Marco had gotten to Spinner.

Craig leaped up, grabbed the phone, and started to dial Marco's number. After a couple of rings, he gently put it back after realizing that Marco would be at school.

Craig glared at the clock. Time was passing way too slowly. There were two more hours until Craig could call and figure out how bad a mess he made.

* * *

Spinner laughed to himself. His day had been awesome. Paige had been more happy to see him than she had ever been, he had beat up a couple of kids (JT and Toby), and he had pretty much ruined Amber's life.

First of all, Spinner thought about Amber's necklace. He had taken it a long time ago, but it seemed as though Amber had forgotten about it.

At first, he hadn't known what to do with it. He couldn't give it to Paige. It wasn't the kind of necklace you gave to your girlfriend. After all, it said "Friends Forever", and a girlfriend was more than just a friend. Plus, the figures on the charm were _girls_ and Spinner happened to be a guy.

He eventually decided to give it to his sister, Kendra. He said that he had found it on the floor at school. Kendra had believed him. He didn't know what she had done with it after he gave it to her; he didn't know she had given it to Nadia.

Secondly, Amber's brother came to mind. It was purely luck that Craig had told him about it. It would've gotten out anyway, but Spinner had just gotten the ball rolling. That's all.

Marco had called to ask that Spinner not tell, but it was too late by then. Spinner had already started spreading it.

Spinner had been surprised when Craig had spilled the beans. He had expected something else to be the case. He couldn't see why Amber was making such a big deal. But hey, you take what you can get. Right?


	22. The Chocolates

Amber was getting her stuff from her locker when Craig hugged her from behind. Amber gasped, but she then relaxed when she realized it was Craig.

"Hey, Amber. Did you miss me yesterday?"

Amber took his hands off from around her waist and looked him in the eye.

In a serious tone, she said, "Craig, there are a couple of things I need to talk about with you."

Craig wiped the silly grin off his face and looked puzzled as he gazed into Amber's eyes.

"About what?"

"Come here," Amber responded while she took Craig's hand and led him outside.

On their way out, it hit Craig. She knew that he had told. Boy, was he in trouble.

They sat down on a nearby bench, and Amber got right to it.

"Craig, it's been going around the school that I have a retarded brother."

Craig gulped, but it didn't get rid of the feeling that he had something stuck in his throat.

"Terri denies that she told anyone, and she thinks you might have told."

Craig felt like the thing stuck in his throat had just expanded. He started to feel like it was difficult to breathe.

Amber continued, "But I told Terri that you would never have told anyone. I know I can trust you. Terri is wrong," Amber said, then paused. "Isn't she?"

Craig kept his eyes away from Amber's face.

"Well, actually..."

Amber leapt up and Craig could see the anger in her face.

"You're the one who told? You said you loved me! I told Terri that you were trustworthy! And then you...you...Do you realize I just lost my best friend because of you? Don't you know how important it was to me that you keep a secret? I told you not to tell anyone!"

Amber ran inside the school, her hands clenched into fists. She was too angry to stay by Craig.

* * *

Amber ran to Terri. At first, Terri ignored her, but once she saw the hurt in Amber's eyes, Terri gave in and listened.

Amber whispered, "He told, Terri; he told."

Terri hugged Amber and patted her on the back.

"It's okay, Amber. You'll find the right guy."

Amber looked at Terri. "I could've sworn he was the guy for me. He told me he loved me, and that's what hurts the most. I believed him."

"It's okay, Amber. You deserve better than him."

* * *

Craig slumped over on the bench. He had ruined it with the girl he loved. He had gone through so much and he had tried so hard to get her to feel the same, and now, she hated him. He had never even kissed her or went on a date with her.

And she had never told him she loved him back.

* * *

It was lunch time, and Craig and Amber sat as far away from each other as they could. They avoided eye contact. Amber didn't want to be near Craig because she was hurt. Craig wanted to be near Amber, but he was afraid she would move away.

Finally, Craig got up and went over to Amber.

"Amber, can I ask you a question?"

"You can, but I probably won't answer."

"Did you know that it was me who sent you those chocolates on your birthday?"

Craig then left and went back to where he was sitting.

Amber gaped. Out of all the things he could've said, he told her _that_? Craig must be insane!

Amber continued talking to Terri, but her mind wasn't on their conversation. It was on Craig.


	23. Dance of the Year

It was the Valentine's Day Dance. The gym of Degrassi was transformed into a dance floor and was decorated with red and white balloons and streamers. Everywhere you looked, you saw red, pink, or white (the Committee had decided to use Craig's idea). Practically everyone had a date; even Liberty had managed to get one.

Amber and Craig were among the few that were dateless.

Amber had not been planning to go to the dance. She had originally decided to stay at home and read a book or watch a movie. But Terri (with the help of Paige and Company) had convinced her to go.

The rumors of the "retarded" brother had faded, much to the disappointment of Spinner. But Amber still carried around the pain that Craig had caused. Amber still felt betrayed. She was not the type to easily forgive, and she rarely forgot.

Craig had come, because he had heard that Amber was coming. Not only did Craig like a chance to see her more, he wanted to show her he could have fun without her.

But he wasn't having fun. He had no date; a few girls had asked him, but he said no for some reason. All his other friends had dates, and they were enjoying themselves immensely. They all loved a good party.

Craig decided to go outside. He didn't care anymore if he could see Amber. Amber clearly wasn't seeing him. She was talking to her friends and probably having a whole lot more fun that he was.

Craig headed out. He walked around the school a few times before he decided to sit down on a bench. It was the same bench where Craig had defended Amber from Spinner. It was also the same bench where she discovered that he had told.

Amber was thinking about that, too. On the outside, she was listening attentively and occasionally talking and laughing with the rest of them. On the inside, she was thinking about Craig.

A slow song came on, and all of Amber's friends went to dance with their dates. Amber couldn't stand it. If Craig hadn't told, she would be dancing with him right now. She ran out of the school, desperately needing to be alone.

Instead, she found Craig. There was an awkward moment of silence.

It was broken when Craig blurted, "Amber, I never meant to tell anyone. And I really loved you." Softly, he said, "I still do."

Amber took Craig's hands in her own, and gazed right into Craig's beautiful eyes. She whispered the words that Craig had been longing to hear. "I love you, too."

They embraced and held on tightly. For a second, they moved back a little. But Craig stepped in again and placed a gentle kiss on Amber's lips.


End file.
